Memorial Day

I remember a Memorial Day 7 years ago, one when my dad was still alive yet we knew it would be the last time we were together on that day. We walked over to the the cemetery that is next to the neighborhood where I grew up (where he is now buried), they always do a service on Memorial Day, honoring those who have died. That morning I sat next to my dad, holding his hand and leaning against his shoulder as we listened to the music, a group playing bagpipes, and the song was "How Great Thou Art," one of my Dad's and my favorite songs. I remember starting to cry, moved by the music but also by the feeling in my heart that this would be the last time I would be here with my dad. He only had a few months left at this point and though we didn't know that at the time we knew his time was coming closer and closer. I remember him looking down at me crying and he just smiled and kissed my head and squeezed me a little closer. He knew it, just as well as I did that our days together were limited. Oh how I miss him! I miss his hands, they were so big and my hands always felt so little in his. I miss his big bear hugs, I miss when I hugged him I couldn't reach my arms all the way around his middle, until he got sick and then I could. I miss his smell, his comforting presence, I miss his energy, his love for life, I miss how he wanted us all to be together all the time! I miss being able to climb up in his lap when I needed him, to bury my head in his shoulder and feel safe and know that everything would be okay. I may have been too big to still cuddle on my dad's lap, but I still did it, and I know I would still do it if he were here. It is amazing to me how my life has continued on since his passing, 6 years have gone and changed my life dramatically, a husband, four children, a home of my own, a wonderful life, but I still wish for him here to share it with me, to enjoy my children as his grandchildren, to share the joys and sorrows of my life with me. I know I have his love and support from the other side and I am grateful for the knowledge that, YES, I WILL see him again, but sometimes I do feel robbed of sharing this life experience with him. Amazing how life does go on after the passing of our loved ones and we are blessed to have the comforting spirit of the Holy Ghost to help us through until that day when we will be reunited. I love you Dad!